But there's obviously cases where the spouse is comfortable with the environment like you described J. M. so I don't see an issue. he doesn't drink at all and i practically never do. registered trademarks of Ziff Davis Canada, Inc. and may not be used by third parties without He's due to come home in a couple of weeks but his dissapearing acts on the weekend just winds me up. nah. Right now, it seems he's being attentive to your needs. First of all, guys NEED this time to well, do what guys do. Yes, A LOT in his profession. im **** off he doesnt call but should i be worried or just let it go? In other words, one can never win when dating an insecure person male or female. FOr M. it will always depend on trust. I always get the excuse of the phone dying or it fell but yet I can see he is online on Facebook etc it's always the weekend that his battery has died when he's out I don't blame you for stressing I have this situation every weekend it's at the point where I've had enough. If you're secure and you have a personality, you should largely be able to fend for yourself at a family function. I could understand drinking a little too much, but once you reach the level of passing out that borderlines alcoholism. My husband LOVES when I take off to the pub for a pint and a good read. It J. seems silly to worry when there is J. nothing to worry about. I have never really understood the "allowed" part I guess. Anyways, tonight he is going out with his buddy (whom I have met) and he let me know. So I spend quite a lot of time with people who are not part of my nuclear family. Ok, I have answered all those other posts you mentioned so I will on yours as well. Just calming say you will be "going out tonight/the weekend" for some fun with friends, he can enjoy himself with his. We don't forbid each other from seeing anyone. I don't mind him enjoying his time alone he needs time to be a man, be with his guys, working on his cars,fishing etc. You get anxious when your boyfriend goes out because you're worried he's cheating, or that you aren't good enough and he'll find someone better. Don't listen to the people commenting below they are giving you the advice, they "think" is right. Nearly everyone is guilty of giving their phone or other electronics too much attention from time to time, but if your partner is always so entrenched in what's going on elsewhere, it could be because they're no longer invested in what's going on between the two of you. i doubt we are even close to being in the same places in our lives. As for what anyone else thought, it was irrelevant. Even if you don't actually go out. In the past he would ask me if he can go out with his friend to the bar because he knew I get very nervous. That's why I wouldn't go out to a bar without my SO. I was 20, she was 21, and I couldn't hit the bars with her. You sill have a life and are not a Siamese twin with your spouse. the next morning he said he was wasted with a bunch of his friendsand hes not the type to cheat on a girl, but who know what can happen when their drunk you know? So here is how four women describe their experiences when a man went down on them. Going To A Bar Alone Is Cool If It's Just Temporary. You could talk to him about what he wants and what you want, and reach an agreement together. The Best Gifts for Men in 2023 - Up to 30 different gift ideas for your man! Then ask yourself if he really cares what you do. Now sometimes I will go out ot a bar with some of my friends. I'm in the same situation. (ok i'm being nice, i think it sends that message loud and clear, because men are horny pigs :) -said with love lol.) There was a promo for $5 off your next dinner if you purchased a $25 gift certificate. My issue here is probably from my past. before we were married my wife went out with her friends every couple of weeks to the bar seen. I have lots of friends, male and female - and I like people, male and female. I would never do anything to hurt him and it makes me feel really appreciative that he knows and trusts that. I never told her it was on my mind but she knew that my first relationship went sour because if infidelity. He was drunk and he is supposed to go to work in the morning. See how he likes it. Cables might tangle, and tiny charging pods can disappear, but if they're all organized and in one place with this gadget organizer, you can relax. So my boyfriend is becoming much more distant as of late. 2023 ZIFF DAVIS CANADA, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. It is all about intent. I never expected much because I knew the type of person I was dating. musician | 7 views, 0 likes, 0 loves, 0 comments, 1 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Gee Broadcasting Corporation: Our Guest is Kahnma Karnga. We don't go to meet new people--we go to have girl time. Yes I go out with out my husband.. if Im talking to anyone and they try to pick M. up using thier cheesy lines I let them know right away Im married. This could be a sign of cheating because he is projecting onto you. My hubs knows M. well enough not to be threatened. I called him at 11:30. CinnamonRoll To M., it isn't a point of trusting my husband or not. My husband likes to have a beer or two so he does go to the local dive bars with the guys after work. You may develop an issue with it. Again, there are exceptions. Does that mean I don't take my hubby's feelings (and he takes mine) into consideration? I envy those who can go out. Do you really want a boyfriend who drinks heavily till he passes out? 1. I tell it like it is. Later that day when I went to see him again he had a bite on his neck and it looked like a love mark. He eventually earned my trust back and went to a bar with his friend. "And if . We are comfortable with each other and trust each other 100%!! If he's out with the guys, I want to know exactly where he is in case anything happens. AskMen, Become a Better Man, Big Shiny Things, Mantics and guyQ are among the federally The veteran drinker is usually front and center, taking shots or downing beers like one of the guys. Luckily, we have every other weekend to ourselves when our kids are at our ex's house. Night after Friday night, he'd ask about my week, make jokes with me during lulls in the bar rush, and never charge me for my vodka buzz. I kinda had a feeling you were probably like meaffected negatively by a past relationship. But when I'm home, I'm usually out with himbecause I miss him! He has fun and I know he isn't sleeping around with his female friends when he goes. I can understand how those people who *enjoy* drinking, will likely go out often to do it. If you recognize that your partner does these things without you, it doesn't mean that the relationship is definitely over, but it does probably mean that there's some sort of problem there. My ex was like that and it was that he wanted to impress other people, couldn't care less how we felt that made him never being home okay. A know a few guys who don't do that. But just letting your SO know where youre going or what youll be doing is very simple. But don't be anxious, you are good enough and I'm sure he loves you like you love him. No. If after talking about it you still object to him going to strip clubs, that's okay! SO to your question. I do trust him and you have to assure that. The scene you J. described in your little local bar is J. so Philly, to a "T." I LOVE that town--was J. there last Friday, and had a wonderful afternoon, at DiBruni Brothers and Rittenhouse Square. We know where the lines are where each of us are comfortable with and neither one of us has ever crossed it. I am sorry, it is hard to deal with, i know. Clubs and bars are places to find one night stand and occasional sex partners. I guess it's all in how you carry yourself. he knows you get hurt by what he does but still continues partying like someone who's single. Here are 3 ways to not be jealous when your boyfriend goes out. And if I'm going for a walk, to the grocery store, the gym, or out with my best friend, I make sure he knows where I'm going, when I'm going, and when I'm on my way home. He has no outside friends or interests. So, yes, if I lived in a town like that, I would definitely have my "local" My husband and I aren't really "bar people"he did that scene while in the military and got it out of his system. 2) Your boyfriend texts you the whole time..that's great! My husband works at a bar on the weekends. Boyfriends are different than husbands. He didn't, not because he couldn't be trusted around other women, but because he was/is an alcoholic. You have to trust that he's just enjoying the company of his bros: drinking beers, talking smack and telling dirty jokes. Over time the concern faded as I learned to trust her and she never violated that trust. You wanna pay me 500 bucks an hour I can ask you as many questions as you feel like answering. Nice. Enjoy those evenings when he is out and look forward to the next time you see him. It isn't driven by insecurity. We don't even spend that time out drinking. It appears by what you said, that you *like* the attention you are getting when you go to the bars. He goes with a buddy of his. We purchased the gift cert from the bar so we were seated in that section. You are going to be better off for it, and I think that rocks. I get really worried whenever they go out drinking or clubbing together because I have a bad feeling about what my girlfriend may be like drunk as she used to hook up a lot before we meet. If you agreed on something whether it be notifying the other about what youre doing or where you are going, if you decide you dont feel like that is the right thing for you two anymore then a conversation should take place. I think if your spouse or boyfriend does mind you doing that, that is what is important.not what others think. "[I]f you find your partner making excuses to not have sex and instead they pleasure themselves or watch porn, this may be a sign something is up with your relationship," Hershenson says. When youre in a relationship you dont just change the rules. Emotional or physical affairs are not okay in my book. . When youre in a relationship, only YOU know the rules that you have. Well, amazing how a six year old post gets a reply but upon reading, as much as six months ago someone needed clarification. Best Sex Positions to Improve Your Sex Life. A "spouse" is an adult. It's totally not like that. I wouldn't want to tempt her or her M.. Good relationships are too hard to come by and I wouldn't want to jepordize one. Of course I was a little disappointed but then he got mad and I had to accept it because I didn't want to lose him. Usually the other one is watching the kids. 1. The premiere was later recognized as the all-time most successful cable series launch, with DVR viewers the . Yes I go out without my husband and he without M. in mixed company. We have no problem with this and neither do most of the couples among our friends. So if you know your husband goes to the townie bar, gets all excited to see the regulars, cheers when people walk in, picks ladies up so they can feel girly, and flirts, then yes, you shouldn't feel bad to do the same as long as you are both feeling happy about it and having fun. I am a single Mom so I am almost never without my kids. That is exactly what's going on with me. Neither of which is good for a rel'ship..I mean, unless you're going to a bar to see a band..or maybe do karaoke or something. Not all of your friends or theirs will definitely be in relationships at the same time, so it's not necessarily a red flag if they plan dinner out with one of their single friends, but if hanging out with their single friends without you starts taking priority over spending time with you, that might mean that something is wrong. I went to see my boyfriend in the worst place in Vancouver downtown and he was standing outside of the bar and this was late at night by the way. 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