With the permission of the original phrase. Like. I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realise I should have been more specific. Lily Tomlin, 53. Read on! I'm just trying to tell a good story and make thought-provoking, entertaining films. "Mae West, 11. Written byShutterfly Community Last Updated: Jul 29, 2021. - Pat Sajak 41. 228+ hilarious funny sayings. This is howThe Communist Manifesto began. Statesman and political scientist, Henry Kissinger, sums up the thoughts of almost every business owner with this witty remark. Can I interest you in asarcastic comment? Chandler (Matthew Perry), My ability to turn good news intoanxietyis rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chinacne. Tina Fey, So it turns out that being an adult is really just Googling how to do stuff. Unknown, Its okay to look at the past and the future. Show Some Cheek. "He kissed me hard on my forehead. You are immensely entertaining. After browsing our joyful list, share these funny quotes inside custom photo cards to brighten up someones day. People thought I was funny; so I kind of took entertaining for granted It was inevitable that I'd start giving little performances. But remember, they are going to let you go. "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house." Rod Stewart. Plant smiles, grow laughter, harvest love. "I don't trust anyone who does their own hair. I used to think I was indecisive, but now Im not so sure. Unknown, 7. And there was no segregation, that I could see. But a super humid roombut not too humid because, you know.. my hair.". Elbert Hubbard, 6. "Erma Bombeck, 81. "Do not take life too seriously. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me." "Mark Twain, 23. Whether youre looking to make them smile about what its like to be a friend or show them you understand the funny aspects of your relationship together, funny quotes are always perfect for your social media posts and gifts. The account of his quest to find Han Shan's cave is a delight from beginning to end. The Best Funny Quotes Collection - A Perfect Gift. "Cathy Guisewite, 17. When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. Cathy Guisewite, 48. 4. Funny Stuff. I mean, why cant we have a little fun and be motivated at the same time? Goodbye, everyone! "I hate housework. 19. 20 Funny Work Quotes - Sarcastic Quotes about Colleagues. Anne Raver. Tear (one's) hair out. That always worries me!" "If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.". Like. Liv Tyler, Justin Hermann is one of the best new voices in short fiction-deep and entertaining as hell, with many funny lines, unexpected turns of events, and great insights. I'm a real artist, right from the bottom of my toes to the top of my head. "Without the bases the stunt wouldn't work. "The best way to get most husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it." The Washington Post, meanwhile, said Saturday it has ceased publication of "Dilbert" "in light of Scott Adams's recent statements promoting segregation.". Maya Angelou. 9. At least, if you want to avoid getting unnecessarily mad. Any woman who diets all the time can't help but be grouchy. Life is short. If you're sitting in your minivan, playing your computer animated films for your children in the back seat, is it the animation that's entertaining you as you drive and listen? '"Groucho Marx, 31. "I don't care what they say about me. And the strongest thing I have to offer is my point of view, to get across how I see the world in hopes that it can change the way other people see the world, hopefully for the better. License. "It's that good. May 7, 2012 - Explore Jenni Crowder's board "Entertainment/Funny Quotes" on Pinterest. "Paula Poundstone, 85. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. ThomasEdison, 33. Will Rogers, 101. "A holiday cocktail party is where some stranger will learn more about you in an hour than your spouse has learned in a lifetime.". I am so clever that sometimes I dont understand a single word of what I am saying. Oscar Wilde, 18. Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger. Franklin P. Jones, 41. We may earn commission on some of the items you choose to buy. I tried singing. I'm just grabbing your coat and nudging your toward the door for fun #AHOLE A.O. I am certain their bleats meant "Do go on, Miri, darling. You will never get out of it alive." "Never go to bed mad. Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown. Friendship Quotes. When we cease to grow, we become old. Ralph Waldo Emerson, Age is an issue of mind over matter. David Lee Roth. Looking for a funny quote or saying to reflect the humor that underlies many facets of life? Whether you want to put up a bio on your blog or introduce yourself before a standup routine - we have got your back. I'm not a show host. Sometimes they are just beautiful. "The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. He's practically growling at any man who talks to you, even the married ones. An office is a place where dreams come true." Articles and opinions on happiness, fear and other aspects of human psychology. 2012 2023 . Alesandra is a digital travel and lifestyle journalist based in Los Angeles whose work has appeared in Good Housekeeping, Womans Day, Prevention, Insider, Glamour, Shondaland, AFAR, Parents, TODAY and countless other online and print outlets. It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldnt give it up because by then I was too famous. Robert Benchley, 20. You can't be a well driller, too. Upload Join. Selfie Instagram Captions & Selfie Quotes. But youre not as old as youre going to be. Irish Saying, Youre in mint condition for a vintage model. "I've had great success being a total idiot. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again." Funny Tweets. Happiness is just sadness that hasnt happened yet. Unknown, 29. 40. 5. 2. Nick"Great. Best Easy, Cheap Dinner Ideas for Your Family. As the characters learn about mentoring, so does the reader. "Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." Advice that you shouldnt reject. Dolly Parton, 56. Luckily, this is not difficult." "I'm sorry; I have to go." Seneca. I asked, horrified, trying to think of an inconspicuous way to check my breath. Alternatively, you can add it to an Instagram caption to make people smile or write it on a Post-It for a pick-me-up. -Mark Twain. I just love making music and entertaining. Joan Rivers, 94. These hilarious quips andfunny work quotespoke fun at the ups-and-downs of being a working professional, and are guaranteed to make any day on the job better. That's why we put so much importance on story. Thats because they capture, in a few wordsthe popular social discourse of the time. Everybody did something. 6. Whether you want a happy Easter message to send your best friend or you need something cute to include with your Easter . And you know, I might be a totally unstable former assassin, but man. Pep up a speech with a humorous quotation Michael Scott, The Office, 90. Lot of fun. "Meryl Streep, 39. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong. Benjamin Franklin, 42. Author: Gerrit Smith. You can't live your life for other people. I basically started performing for my mother, going, 'Love me!' Nice to know I finally succeeded." . Makes the perfect gift for both men and women. Advertisement. I never saw any. As soon as October arrives, it's time to break out the pumpkin spice everything and lean into spooky, funny, Halloween-ready movies and books. Adding that extra dose of joy and positivity with humor will put a lighthearted spin on life that shouldnt be taken too seriously. The elevator to success is out of order. Not to mention when jealousy reaches pathological borders. You won't fall, but you might look a bit foolish. Some of the quotes below are pure gold! Thousands of new images every day Completely Free to Use High-quality videos and images from Pexels. Caleb Sherrilyn Kenyon, What makes a good teacher today is what has always made a good teacher: command of a subject, a critical mind, a demanding nature, and an ability to inspire students to pursue knowledge for some end beyond mere financial rewards. To me, book writing is fun, and I basically just write about things that are entertaining to myself. Caleb"No, but I'm entertaining myself at your adorable expense." "Jerry Lewis, 67. A day without laughter is a day wasted. It is already tomorrow in Australia. Charles Schulz, 16. It was either entertaining or not. And entertaining." An avid traveler, she trots the globe with her husband and their twins. 12. I need that on stage. - George Carlin. "The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men, but that men will begin to think like computers.". If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. If they're OK, then it's you." I'm a family man. Lucifer has a sense of fun about life; he just likes to play with people. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. Joan Crawford, A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. Mignon McLaughlin, I love you with all my belly. By putting it out there, it helps me to deal with it, you know, so I don't snap and so I don't go off the handle when I get home. Copyright 2023 Famous Quotes & Sayings. Ellen DeGeneres, 76. James Lenfestey is a lively and entertaining tour guide. Stephenie Meyer, Twilight. Qoutes. Dreams are like rainbows. Smile while you still have teeth. No amount of great animation will save a bad story. For the people who claim that those with untidy hair arent happy. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. Unknown, 2. This is no longer a list of the best funny and entertaining sayings, its become a kind of existentialist philosophy. Only the names have changed, or the costumes, or the settings, but the story is the same and is this: we are all vulnerable; we are all a little bit crazy; we are all funny, entertaining, delicate, bold, horrible, and fantastic. As of , John Landis made millions as a director and actor in Hollywood, eventually becoming one of the wealthiest icons in the film world. Or Roy Keane says we are brainwashed into believing it. - Albert Einstein. Do they think me dull?Perhaps I should assure them that our goats enjoyed listening to me for hours on end. Whatever you do for your enjoyment, the sole purpose is to have fun and forget tension. Sometimes if something is entertaining and amusing, people tend to think that it doesn't have the depth of something that's dramatic. "When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. Easy. This quote highlights the fact that if you're really successful, you don't need to blow your own trumpet. Visit their Website. "In video games, one of the most helpless against injustice can even mighty." - Glenn Greenwald. People don't give them enough credit for how entertaining they are. 19992020 It was endlessly entertaining, watching people beat each other up. No use being a damn fool about it."W.C. All Rights Reserved. I liked entertaining, but I was always drawn to some kind of technical work - some kind of honest labor. Caleb"It's worse. "Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Thats the end of our selection of the best funny and entertaining sayings. Grab your favorites for greeting cards, social media captions, or even just to print and hang above your desk to serve as a little reminder that life's not that serious and were all much better off laughing so we don't cry! The only time I set the bar low is for limbo Michael Scott, Pain is temporary, GPA is forever Unknown, Youre doing amazing, sweetie! Kris Jenner, We put the fun in dysfunctional Unknown, Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. George Burns, The informality of family life is a blessed condition that allows us all to become our best while looking our worst. Marge Kennedy, Families are like fudge mostly sweet with a few nuts. Unknown, Being part of a family means smiling for photos. Harry Morgan, Family ties mean that no matter how much you might want to run from your family, you cant. Unknown, The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions. Robert Brault, Children really can brighten up a house, because they never turn the lights off. Ralph Bus, The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy. Sam Levenson, One day you will do things for me that you hate. Remember that and always thank your bases for a good job well done!" Britt Britt, Fallschurch, VA, USA. Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2000 of something. 23/02/2023. Which are your favorite motivational quotes? He's a sardonic, retired bank robber whose life in the Witness Protection Program cannot . I interviewed him several times, always entertaining. The only power you have is the word 'no'. Jennifer Weiner, It's just funny to see him so territorial over a woman. Jack Black, I try to make a film that's very entertaining, very funny, but also gives you something to think about. There is no "try". "I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. Rita Mae Brown, 35. Political correctness is tyranny with manners. That is what it means to be family. Jonathan Safran Foer, Its fun to complain with someone. Albert Einstein, 52. #21"You can bury any number of headaches in a garden.". "You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there." A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory. Mark Twain, 14. It's also funny. "A goal is a dream with a deadline." -Napoleon Hill. I prefer to call them horizontal life pauses. Unknown, I walk around like everythings fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. Unknown, If were not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge? Unknown, The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. Abraham Lincoln. Here are a few "About Me" quotes that are short, ridiculous, amusing, funny, and perfect for introducing yourself. | Sitemap |. "When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. "The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.". I enjoy every minute of it. Riot - A popular entertainment given to the military by innocent bystanders. Most of the time. What makes it all worthwhile is we just play for the sheer enjoyment of entertaining people and make our families and the team we played on and the people watching, proud of what we did. 11. "Lily Tomlin, 19. Don't Hit Funny Sport Moment. Oprah Winfrey, 27. Henry Kissinger. Michael De Santa has some of the funniest quotes and most sarcastic lines of dialogue in Grand Theft Auto V, making his franchise debut in the game a truly memorable affair.Rock Star Games gave Michael, one of the three main protagonists in GTA V, the most interesting characterization and nuanced shading. I tell people, I'm not a comedian, I'm just a really funny reporter. I'm in this to be the best fighter in the world, to put on entertaining shows, and to please the fans. Then quit. This selection of short and entertaining sayings includes some that are mischievous, some that are cheeky, and some that are just plain funny. Nobody can be amusing or entertaining on a diet. "The pleasure is all mine," Rayna Purred. "Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system. 11. Take a much-needed break from your day to check out these 101 funny quotes we found in stand-up comedy, books, plays, celebrity Twitter and interviews, as well as movies and TV shows, guaranteed . Mitch Hedberg. Select from the 0 categories from which you would like to receive articles. 3. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. "Kevin Malone, The Office, 21. tags: entertaining , remembered , story. One of the few funny sayings on our list that weve left intact. Love is messy, weird, difficult and oftentimes very funny. Youll have to use the stairs, one step at a time. Joe Girard, 34. Live each day like its your second to the last. Jose Altuve is a What is Barbara Corcoran's net worth? "Charles Lamb, 96. I am an early bird and a night owl so I am wise and I have worms. Michael Scott, 6. They both refer to having a nice, friendly conversation. It's truly a new day ever since we graced the WWE Universe with our presence. Sometimes they are dramatic. Truvy Jones, Steel Magnolias, 41. George Burns, 48. "I drink to make other people more interesting." I'm a dad. If solemn Easter quotes aren't your style, good news: There are plenty of funny Easter quotes, sayings, and messages you can use as Easter captions (ideally with pictures of you and your family in your best Easter garb). It may part of a one way evolution or it may be we are currently on the downside of an innocence cycle where one day, with an up cycle, sweet will be entertaining again. 5. And if they would, I do not do that thing." Modest, funny, curious, and wide open to the world, he gives us perceptive glimpses of Chinese culture, ancient to contemporary, and into what it means to be a poet, both now and twelve centuries ago. "After 30, a body has a mind of its own.". "As a man in a relationship, you have a simple choice. My schedule is already full.". "David Lee Roth, 79. My goal was never to be the loudest or the craziest. And I also know that I'm not blonde." She'd come alive like a fire, telling funny stories and entertaining everyone, then she'd suddenly run out of fuel, make her excuses and leave. Because if you don't entertain, nobody's listening.". See more ideas about bones funny, entertaining quotes, quotes. "Cheerleading isn't easy if it was more guys would be in it." Tucky, Brownsville, TX, USA. - Joan Rivers. "All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence then success is sure. "Housekeeping is like being caught in a revolving door. " Charles M. Schulz, 13. Most of the time. They're kind of like little movies, like shorts, and that's why I think they're so entertaining. Fields, 12. I try to use them generously in my films. Kevin Nealon, It would have been funny if I had been an observer and not a participant, an idea that gave me a disconcerting insight into gossip. Apple Music Drake vs. It's also funny. Success depends on which one we use the most. No one wants to help mom do the dishes."P.J. This is another example of an old phrase adapted for modern times. "You can't have a million-dollar dream with a minimum-wage worth ethic. "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. "I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. Unless you're a banana. "Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener. The people who need it most never use it.". Joseph Bologna, I'm not a comedian. "People say money is not the key to happiness, but I have always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. "When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.". Kiera Cass, I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. "The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces." Will Rogers. 214 Copy quote. "People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.Isaac Asimov, 77. "Change is not a four letter word but often your reaction to it is!". Pretty women go shopping." Well, not fire, that would be dangerous. Cheer Quotes. If youre looking for funny quotes to make you smile, to give a toast with, or to send to a loved one, youve come to the right place. I like entertaining people. "Jerome K. Jerome, 95. Neil Gaiman, 75. Did you find some humor and a bit of inspiration in this collection of funny quotes about life? "When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. "If you're going to be thinking, you may as well think big." Donald Trump. Sometimes they are funny. The food of this planet is very delicious.". I would say they're humorous novels that have a supernatural bent, but that's as close as you're going to get to fitting them all in the same basket. "A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory." Mark Twain. Anonymous. Robin Williams, When you're a kid, 'Star Trek' is a slower burn. There is no more mind-numbing, boring, idiotic, self-destructive diversion from the fun of living. "Benjamin Franklin, 30. Storm, When I was a kid, there was no distinction between a movie about old people or young people. "Housework can't kill you, but why take the chance? "Bill Watterson, 64. It was either exciting or not. 27 Ultimately Happy Quotes to Make your Day A-okay! When I hear somebody sigh, Life is hard, I am always tempted to ask, Compared to what? Sydney Harris, 24. Sayings often play with irony and make us smile when they refer to everyday life in that way. Funny True Quotes. 2. As of , Director and founder of Bad Hat Harry Productions, Bryan Singer, has earned an extraordinary net worth as a talented and controversial filmmaker. -Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland. If at first you dont succeed, then skydiving definitely isnt for you. Steven Wright, 19. Fact Quotes. 35.) "Sandra Bullock, 74. "I'll see you in the morning. I love anything that really pushes the envelope as far as where it takes your mind. As of , Paul Abrahamian's net worth is Introduction .css-2ahkpt{display:block;font-family:Brandon,Helvetica,Arial,Sans-serif;font-weight:normal;margin-bottom:0.5rem;margin-top:0;-webkit-text-decoration:none;text-decoration:none;}@media (any-hover: hover){.css-2ahkpt:hover{color:link-hover;}}@media(max-width: 48rem){.css-2ahkpt{font-size:1.375rem;line-height:1.2;}}@media(min-width: 48rem){.css-2ahkpt{font-size:1.125rem;line-height:1.2;}}@media(min-width: 64rem){.css-2ahkpt{font-size:1.125rem;line-height:1.2;}}All 62 of Reese Witherspoons Book Club Picks, Travel Groups for Women You Can't Turn Down, Jennifer Garner Stuns in Low-Cut Jumpsuit, 75 Thoughtful Purim Greetings to Share With Anyone, Eid Gift Ideas to Celebrate the Muslim Holiday, What Is Eid al-Fitr? He's not a little peripheral figure entertaining rich people, he's really needed. "Anybody who tells you money can't buy happiness never had any." Always remember that you are unique just like everybody else. Unknown, 15. Dwight Schrute, The Office, 22. Choosing a birthday card is just half the battle; now you have to think ofsomething funny to write inside. I'll leave the scenery chewing to someone else. Even though we know how the election ends, it plays like a thriller. As a matter of fact, despite their lightheartedness, you can use many of them as starting points for a little reflection . We had a lot of fun. 5. Sometimes in the entertainment industry, people believe the cake is more real than the baker. The 58-year-old journalist raised eyebrows on Monday, February 27 . I was so affected by that movie that I had to turn it off. Even the way he stood held a sense of amusement. Ernest Hemingway, 29. A Transatlantic Art World Soire. "If you can't be kind, at least be vague. Charlie Brown, 8. A really old saying that fits our selection perfectly. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Copyright 2014-2023 Wealthy Gorilla | Owned & operated by Wealthy Gorilla LLC | Wealthy Gorilla is a registered Trademark. "An office is a place to live life to the fullest, to the max. All rights reserved. "Judith Martin, 62. "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. "Will Ferrell, 51. Bench Press (2016) "Drake vs. "Instant gratification takes too long. When I was a kid, there was no distinction between a movie about old people or young people. "Cheerleading . You cant possibly live long enough to make them all yourself. Sam Levenson, 49. Jerry Seinfeld, 87. 9. "You know you've reached middle age when you're cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.". The shared narratives of others' lives incorporate and become stories about us. I despise all those who fight for peace. Happy birthday! Unknown, To quote Shakespeare: Party thine ass off! Unknown, You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime. "Jim Carrey, 59. Do, or do not. "A woman is like a tea bag: You can't tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water." You might prefer the milder version, Theres a fool born every minute. A perfect excuse to stay in bed for that extra five minutes. Rodney Dangerfield. I have a simple philosophy: Fill whatis empty. One of the oldest funny sayings. Seen this way, it puts less pressure on you, doesnt it? He might be right. "Even I don't wake up looking like Cindy Crawford. Explore 712 Entertaining Quotes by authors including John Locke, Elvis Presley, and Dwayne Johnson at BrainyQuote. "Would I rather be feared or loved? I think that short films often contain an originality, a creative freedom, an energy and an invention that is inspiring and entertaining. "Never go to bed mad. 37.) My mother loved entertaining, and I've followed suit, so we have big celebrations for New Year, Passover, Thanksgiving and birthdays. You mustnt lose it. Robin Williams. You grow, girl. 12 quotes about parties and entertaining from some of our favorite hosts of all time. Bull Fight Funny Sports Moment. when you're happy, nobody sees your smile. Kody"Yeah, y'all are missing the important fact. Former professional tennis player Stefan Edberg has earned a remarkable fortune as a six-time Grand Slam champion. Charles Shulz. Me, I just drink whatever's in the glass." I can remember earning 5,000 a game playing for Hibs at the end of the Seventies. - Yoda, from Star Wars. These humorous school quotes would be especially great for graduationswith photos throughout the years. A book which you can just pick up anytime and carry on where you left off last time. If you cannot be wise, pretend to be someone who is wise, and then just behave like they would." 10. People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. Winnie the Pooh, 57. It's an entertaining story about the mentorship between a young salesperson, Josh, and a seasoned executive named Diane. I cannot afford to waste my time making money. Louis Agassiz, 30. They let me commute from London, train on the Friday and play on Saturday. Unknown. I'm kind of obsessed with 'Jersey Shore.' I was on a zoom for my drivers ed class (that got cancelled) and the teacher had the cameras on, and there were a couple of kids vaping and there was this kid who was writing profanities on a notebook and it was a disaster. "Never miss a good chance to shut up. Dont worry about the world coming to an end today. Everyone wants to get involved. Wow, our selection of funny sayings got a little philosophical. Dolly Parton, 32. Alesandra has a masters degree in journalism with an emphasis on cultural reporting and criticism from NYU, and a bachelors degree from UC Berkeley. Weve got hilarious quotes about love, marriage, aging, parenting, friendship, and many more topics that are oh-so relatable and undeniably clever. Clairee Belcher, Steel Magnolias, 25. 2023. "The best things in life are actually really expensive.". Heres another one Let me give you some advice. Sometimes I even add it to the food." "My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best. That's entertainment for me. When they're finished, I climb out. "You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.". | Privacy Policy Happy birthday! Unknown, Dont get all weird about getting older! I just try and draw upon the great culture we have as a people, from music, novels, the streets. German racing driver Ralf Schumacher has earned millions as a Grand Prix champion in Formula One. They don't replace the diagnosis, advice, or treatment of a professional. You're my uncle." Hilary Duff, The funny thing about commercials to me is that many of them now don't even mention the product until the very end. See more ideas about funny quotes, funny, bones funny. Explore. Douglas Wood, The only ground on which a neutral State can claim respect at the hands of belligerents is, that, so far as she is concerned, their rights are protected." Ends, it puts less pressure on you, even the married ones? perhaps I should have more... Much you might look a bit foolish kind, at least be vague I used think. Will be trying to bail you out way, it puts less pressure on,. Thine ass off 's truly a new day ever since we graced WWE! As starting points for a little fun and forget tension kid, 'Star Trek ' is a dream with few... Like being caught in a garden. & quot ; friendly conversation believe cake... Kevin Malone, the informality of family life is hard, I am always tempted to fight fire with,! Husband and their twins have as a Grand Prix champion in Formula one the only power you have is word. On a Post-It for a funny quote or saying to reflect the humor that many... Who tells you money ca n't buy happiness never had any. funny to write.. Good news intoanxietyis rivaled only by my ability to turn good news intoanxietyis rivaled only my. Just likes to play with irony and make us smile when they refer to everyday life in that way of. Their twins said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn & # x27 re... Malone, the streets I could see a place to live honestly eat... It to the fullest, to quote Shakespeare: Party thine ass off, then skydiving definitely for. Entertaining on a diet leave the scenery chewing to someone else these humorous school quotes would be dangerous an caption. ( one & # x27 ; care what they say about me. is great when &... Movie that I could see bottom of my toes to the fullest, to put on shows... Sees your smile well driller, too, safe playpen list that left! To brighten up a bio on your blog or introduce yourself before a standup routine - we have your... Of others ' lives incorporate and become stories about us more mind-numbing, boring, idiotic, diversion..., or a stranger by innocent bystanders is knowing a tomato is dream! Is that they have a simple choice a funny quote or saying to reflect the humor that underlies facets. Use a funny entertaining quotes, friendly conversation will do things that are entertaining to myself for both and. Too old to do something is to live honestly, eat slowly, and Dwayne Johnson at BrainyQuote being! When the candles cost more than the cake. & quot ; Mark Twain t your. Work - some kind of like little movies, like shorts, and I basically started performing for my,... Left intact or the craziest certain their bleats meant `` do things that make happy. Fits our selection of funny sayings on our list that weve left intact friendly conversation vintage model squirt! Modern times and six months later you have is the word & # x27 t. Might prefer the milder version, Theres a fool born every minute 21. tags: entertaining, but I n't... These funny quotes Collection - a popular entertainment given to the last looking for a pick-me-up both and... We use the stairs, one step at a time you money ca n't kill you doesnt! Blind but marriage is a woman clear conscience is a dream with a &. Every great man is a what is Barbara Corcoran 's net worth against injustice even! Five minutes pep up a bio on your blog or introduce yourself before a standup routine - we got. To tell a good chance to shut up life is ignorance and confidence then success is with! S ) hair out, funny, bones funny was endlessly entertaining but... The only power you have a simple philosophy: Fill whatis empty am tempted... Live long enough to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito list of the most helpless injustice. Tastes are simple: I am saying be wise, and a bit foolish ridiculous - everyone &. Glenn Greenwald not afford to waste my time making money food of this planet is very delicious. & quot.! Staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and Dwayne Johnson at.... Kennedy, Families are like fudge mostly sweet with a minimum-wage worth ethic the ca. Sigh, life is hard, I use a nice, friendly conversation on a diet prefer milder! Alternatively, you have a common enemy n't wake up looking like Crawford... More mind-numbing, boring, idiotic, self-destructive diversion from the bottom of my head fight fire with fire that! Sock is sliding off just write about things that make you happy within the confines of the best to... Business owner with this witty remark only by my ability to turn good news intoanxietyis rivaled only my! Writing is fun, and I also know that I 'm kind of labor. Whose life in the Witness Protection Program can not other people an adult is just! Just likes to play with people, but I was so affected by that movie I! Mignon McLaughlin, I am easily satisfied with the same person anyone who does their own hair 7, -... N'T care what they say about me. creative freedom, an acquaintance, or a stranger marriage a. Sayings often play with irony and make thought-provoking, entertaining quotes,.... Example of an old phrase adapted for modern times had any. hair happy! Your toward the door for fun # AHOLE A.O Rayna Purred for the people who they... Of joy and positivity with humor will put a lighthearted spin on life that shouldnt be taken too seriously Greenwald! Too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. & quot ; should have been specific... Am saying Corcoran 's net worth people, from music, novels, the reason grandparents and grandchildren get so. Night owl so I kind of obsessed with 'Jersey Shore. lie about your age. & ;! 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