photo printing bundaberg. Clothes, culture, money. I was like, Why? You know when I emigrated to this country in 1982, I thought if I let you go to a school dance, you would join a gang, get a girl pregnant and become a drug dealer, in one night. Thats when I realized theres a generational gap between us and our parents. Like, relax! You shouldnt relax. And I can feel it. Thank you.. People who say they love you and are afraid of you at the same time. In one of the shows most poignant moments, Minhaj describes a conversation he had with his father, who was recovering from major heart surgery. Let me know when youre in New York. To which I reply, abso-f*cking-lutely. Now, against the advice of my therapist I go on Facebook, because she has a public profile. All men created equal. It says it right here, Im equal. Im blessed. Stop marching. Sit here. No one is going to marry him. Howve you been? #MrP. The producer is like, Well run it a few times. And I sit down and I get to the desk. So even if you never want to talk to me ever again, Ill always be rooting for you. You know how you carry hatred in your heart about people in your past? Minhaj was catapulted onto the national stage in 2017 when he performed at the 2017 White House Correspondents Dinner (wearing the same Cole Haan shoes). This is a secret that nobody told me! Now blood is gushing down my arm, and Im pissed, Im fucking mad. She gets in the car. But as soon as I say that He looks at me like I believe in Santa. When you see someone from your past, all of a sudden, youre that age again. I fell in love here. She was like the iPhone 8. Kind of like tonight. I was like, Yeah, you know, I decided not to go. Hey, audition for The Daily Show. I submit a tape. Boom! He shakes my hand. It was a big deal for a lot of us. Watch Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King | Official Trailer. This is bullshit. Are you fucking kidding me? Do you want it? I sit down and were running it, and Im nervous. Did you forget? Hes like, Hasan, how could I forget that its your birthday? Sitting presidents have sat on that desk. Dude, we did that to the Japanese. Jasuriah? Im not Larry David. Homecoming King, a Netflix special of Daily Show correspondent Minhaj's off-Broadway one-man show, finds the comic staking out his territory alongside Ansari's Master Of None, with one of the. Copyright 2023 US Catholic. How easy is my name? This 10-digit number is your confirmation number. These kids know where we live, theyre timing this, so theyre watching us. Put your head down. I was like, I made it! She was like, Fuck that. And it always sucks. elyes gabel injury; shark tracker tasmania; young lady old lady illusion explained; susquehanna river musky fishing Cloth interior for life. Im picking up soda and Im like, Ah! Dont do that. Im going to live forever! Then I would trip on my Velcro shoes and I would drop the soda and it would explode. I put on the JC Penney suit. Streaming Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King (2017) sub indo. It was like Inception. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King 2017 Action / Comedy / Documentary. Alright, maybe I didnt cure it, but everyone has a purpose. Youre getting there., I get to her house. He would check to see if the coast is clear and hed slap the shit out of me. And, like, Seema was that chick, you guys. In his story about his high school prom date, Minhaj used the pseudonym "Bethany Reed" instead of her real name to protect her identity. Youre a fucking idiot. And everyones like, Oh, the atheist prophet speaks! So this clip went viral, him and Ben Affleck. And I dont know why I get to Kaiser and run upstairs. Can I ask him the question? Hes like, Okay, Alice. Alright? We run it a second time. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. Just saw my high school prom date in a Pizza Hut ad. #throwback. And I look over her shoulder, and I see Jeff Burke putting a corsage on Bethanys wrist. Roll call was a problem. Gods not up in heaven being like, Youre racist, good job, thats what I always wanted.. Theyre like, Oh! Here you go, Aisha. He looks at me. Thirteen episodes for this kid? So I cant say anything. There are just a few apps missing. Why didnt you forgive her? he asks his son. The sad part is, I felt bad for being there. Nothing! Come to New York. I have to tell him stories. My backpacks open. [makes long, crackling, buzzing noise] [blows] If someone picked up the phone, Hey, get off the phone! Just like, Ah. And Id look at him and be like, Oh, man. Please click the link below to receive your verification email. Walk in there, be confident. We can choose what we want to adhere from the motherland. We get there. But its too much. I got a career I hate from my parents. Its a lie. Coming into our house eating our Fruit Roll-Ups they dont speak the language I say we tell them to go back where they came from. Hes like, You cant say that. Have you guys seen Real Time With Bill Maher? So I tell him the prom story. Hasan bhai! Get lost! Eventually, I run to the boys bathroom. Not us. Mr Reed can give you a ride home. And I was like, No, I have my bike. And I just biked home and played Mario Kart. There's. I need her, Dad. All we had was that stolen moment in my driveway. Just below that it reads "Ticket Confirmation#:" followed by a 10-digit number. Now that the balls in our court, and were gonna be bigoted to another community? Dude, are you going to be a darapok again? 30. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. Much like his first special, Homecoming King, the comedian returns on stage to share his latest life update with the audience. His father was disappointed after learning that Minhaj had recently interacted with the classmate in a brusque way. But there was one bright spot, this girl named Bethany Reed. Just confirm how you got your ticket. Calligraphy! Have you seen the show called The Slap? Bethany, Ive got a gig in New York next week. Get in the Camry. The immigrant car of choice. But for me, I was born here. My mom and dad are arguing in Hindi. Its what every generation did before you. He goes, I dont think we should do this. It went whiter than white. What is that like? Shwarma time! I love that so much. Hell, no. This is really nice. And I look at her, and Im like, Oh, my God. Keywords: high school stand-up comedy immigrant experience. I jump off, I somehow land, I get on my bike. I would love to hear that story., Tell me more. What? And her family had just moved from Nebraska to Davis, and we were in AP Calc together, but we had chemistry. Daily Show senior correspondent Hasan Minhaj did not hold back on barbs directed at President Donald Trump and his administration during the White House Correspondents' Dinner. Are you kidding me? We used to have landlines. Turn left. Put your Rajesh in my Rengatramanajananam. I was like, Stop it. Hes like, Hanson, this is not funny. He walks over to the board, he pulls it down. Minhaj broke the news on Twitter, saying, "I got to work with the best writers, producers, researchers, and animators in the. You dont want to overkill it with the MJ cologne. Shes from Nebraska. My dad picked it up before me. Youre funny. Which is a tell-tale sign of being, like, Hey, man. Hasan bhai! All the kids at the urinal are like, Uh! Were family. Im like, No, thats on you and Mom. I can be me! So Im going back and forth. At an interview, this lady said, Describe your earliest birthday memory. I was like, Do I have to? So Im six, Im turning seven. Are you his son? Yeah. Youre over 18? Its too late. They won't be able to see your review if you only submit your rating. I dont get it. Executive Producers: Hasan Minhaj, Michelle Caputo, Shannon Hartman, Rick Famuyiwa, Jennie Church-Cooper. Middle management till we die. Like, I really wanted to go with you. This is new br0wn America. Pieces of glass get caught in my arm. "The King's Jester" reps the second stand-up comedy special that Minhaj has produced and starred in. Send that shit right now! To tell them youre good enough. Ill just put this on the wall. And Muslims we dont really, uh, like cartoons. Homecoming King, the story of the "New Brown America," is based on true events from Minhaj's first generation Indian-American experience. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King (2017) - Transcript May 21, 2020 Comic Hasan Minhaj of "The Daily Show" shares personal stories about racism, immigrant parents, prom night horrors and more in this stand-up special. I was ride or die for you. Youre not Hasan Minhaj. Its like phones connected to the land. Were auditioning. But on that night, September 12th, it was the first night of so many nights where my familys loyalty to this country was under attack. First was his one-man show, "Homecoming King," which he started performing live in 2014 and released as a Netflix special last year. Theres one mall in the entire area. What have you done? Im like, Have you heard of Pizza Hut? [laughter], Then he steps into the light, and hes shorter than I thought. Fuck this, man! 26 letters in the alphabet, right? Its real. Do you know what day it is? Its Saturday. No, its my birthday. Americans hit on the arm and bruise the body. Round them up, contain them? I hear thud, thud, thud outside. Daily Show, Fox News, five avenues away from each other. ' And Im looking at her, and Im so embarrassed. Life, liberty, pursuit of happiness. Never happened. But I was like, No, shes different. I hit her up late at night. These cookies do not store any personal information. The story begins with Minhaj's parents getting married in . I just wanted to wake up and be like, Oh, it was all a dream. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. Whats wild is, I never even knew how the whole X-Men Origins story went down. I want to be a family. Its crazy, because we know nothing about our parents and our parents know nothing about us. You want me to change my life for Naila Aunty? This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. So all that Kanye juice just goes out of my body. We can speak at home and outside. Killing it! And now, Im trying to pursue my dreams, Im trying, but now youre writing about me, you act like were cool, when were not. Hasan's entire act took us on a journey of identity, privilege, discrimination . Name Course Professor Date Homecoming King The film "homecoming King" by Hasan Minhaj is a 2017 Netflix comedy showcasing the life of immigrants in the United States. Fast enough to get there, but slow enough to not get pit stains. Off with his head! Like a god-damn emperor. Hes been slapped on camera. Do you know when br0wn kids get slapped? Tools, Clear History. Duh! I want to be president. Duh! with updates on movies, TV shows, Rotten Tomatoes podcast and more. I was like, No! A blank stare. I run to the club, jump on stage I dont even know what I said. But she didnt. I see a curb. And youre really special to me. Im crushing life. I crushed it like a Voldemort Horcrux. Are you kidding me? Your son just won the Scripps National Spelling Bee. Three? Its too much. But when youre white and youre playing the video game of life, and your avatar is white, you just get asked less questions along the way. The comedian muses on stoned koalas, his dads vasectomy confusion, choosing between his hair and his sex drive and more. Youre not funny. During this period, he also appeared in the films "Rough Night . And I was like, You knew my situation. Log kya kahenge? What do you need? Hasan bhai, Dad had a heart attack. He was brought up in a conservative Muslim home; unlike with other comedians, you can sense the eternal good kid. Every br0wn birthday party. No! Im like, Why are we here? Homecoming King was filmed in Minhajs hometown of Davis, California, the perfect venue for Minhaj to recount his real life experiences in a compelling story of family, relationships, race, identity, forgiveness, and the American Dream. Im walking to my locker. Thats the price we pay for being here. Thats when I was like, We really are from two different generations. BMX bikes aside. Then the following Monday, during first period she finds me. Hey, do you believe in God? Its not asking for a co-sign. They want you to audition. Privacy Policy [raucous laughter]. Were not on that stage, ever. Starring: Hasan Minhaj Watch all you want. Comic Hasan Minhaj of "The Daily Show" shares personal stories about racism, immigrant parents, prom night horrors and more in this stand-up special. I have opinions. No, you dont. Najmi marries Question Mark, they come to the States, I come out. I would love to meet up. Shes like, Yeah, lets meet up. And I go from LA to New York, direct flight. God made Black saints. But, you know, if life gives you lemons, sometimes youve got to make revenge lemonade. Sprinkle in a little irony. I just want my mom. Isnt that how all this stuff happens? He saw my vision board. Im like, Yo, when did Home Depot Dad become Danny Tanner? We want to hear what you have to say but need to verify your account. In Homecoming King, he refers to himself as "the only brown kid" in his class. Every single br0wn mother makes your daughter quinceaera dress, chop cuts. But then she would go back to India. Which is terrifying to say. Fuck them. Damn them. Coming Soon, Regal Listen, I would love to give you some tix, but were going to be taking a lot of photos tonight, and I dont think youd be a good fit. Send that shit! He cant do this. Weeks go by. Try to understand immigrant fathers. I call my mom, shes crying. Rajesh Rengatramanajananam, I want you so bad. Tools, Clear History. Whipping through the streets of LA. You know the way our family is. Thats a big hand. This is what I do. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. To know that generational change is possible with one choice. Im not Saddam.. His body temperature is so low that he looks blue. Damn! 8.2. I was like, Yo, Facebook! And thats how you make it great. Im looking at my dad and I see all five-seven of him. Say it. A car almost hits me. And he goes, Hey, man, relax. Were all going to prom? Coming Soon. Weve all been there. Im scaling down the side of my roof, scraping my knees. Now, its just kind of liberating. Hes walking through the tunnel where the guests come, so hes just back-lit. I saw her in the sandbox. I could give it to you. Whatever I lacked in real-life game, my digital game bananas. I take off. The bar is way too high. PRIMARY PRODUCTION CREDITS Writer/Performer: Hasan Minhaj. My dad knows you! Hes like, Yeah, Im sure he does. I pinch myself. I hated her. She sat behind me, first day, shes like, Hey whats your AIM screen name?. Come on, Dad. (Photo via Wikimedia Commons) On Tuesday night, Student Entertainment Events hosted its virtual Homecoming Comedy Show featuring Hasan Minhaj. I was like, What? I open up my laptop, fire up Facebook, and I see this. Oh, my God, Rajesh Rengatramanajananam, give it to me right now. Mom and Dad was my Vietnam. Its not like a broken condom where youre like, Im in! [laughter] Eight years. No one did that for that photo. Its been going on for centuries. Because when it happened, everyone in America felt like their country was under attack. For years! Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. You dont deserve so much choice. Were getting soft. Kids start getting dates. Bethany, do you know why Im here? Thats one less letter than the entire alphabet. They love them. Not your typical stand up special, But special nonetheless! You guys see this, right? Good night. Its so big, it barely fits in his Facebook profile. I think about it all the time. Your AMC Ticket Confirmation# can be found in your order confirmation email. "Hasan Minhaj: The King's Jester" is set to premiere worldwide on Oct. 4 on Netflix. Stop blaming other people. [slow, stupid voice] Uh, I dont understand other cultures, bro. Im going to do that, then Ill come home. And I did a set at the Comedy Store. One night she was like, Hey, come over. I bike over to her place, white picket fence, McMansion, Ford Expedition, Eddie Bauer edition. Thank you. Im choking. Im walking up to the doorstep, and Im about to ring the doorbell when Im like, Wait. And I had a sister. And thats when I realize Im a darapok. And he has all this scruff on his face. Youre Hussan Minhajj. I am Jon Stewart. We are definitely getting married. Reply. So my dad marries my mom, they come to the States, they have me, in Davis, California, but my mom has to go back to India to finish up med school. Every day I walk past their building during lunch. Look at his brother. Ages zero through 30, No girls! At 35, Why cant you talk to girls? Thats basically it. 2:27. Shes like, Hasan bhai, why dont you take it out? And as an elder brother, I felt entitled to that bike. Pulls it down shes like, Oh, it barely fits in his Facebook profile,! Kids at the same time and I look at her, and hes shorter than I thought we know about! But, you knew my situation is gushing down my arm, and Im about to the... Be a darapok again you lemons, sometimes youve got to make revenge lemonade kid & quot ; only. Their country was under attack, chop cuts us and our parents would to... Ring the doorbell when Im like, Wait the whole X-Men Origins story went down do that, he!, Yeah, you know how you carry hatred in your heart about People in your order Confirmation.! ; shark tracker tasmania ; young lady old lady illusion explained ; susquehanna river musky fishing interior... Into the light, and hes shorter than I thought your heart about People in your order email! I hate from my parents just won the Scripps National Spelling Bee talk... Im pissed, Im sure he does you navigate through the tunnel where the guests come, theyre... Did a set at the same time not up in heaven being like, Uh Ive got a in. Of him Naila Aunty, Jennie Church-Cooper hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript click the link below to receive your verification email the! It to me ever again, Ill always be rooting for you revenge lemonade quot ; only! At 35, why cant you talk to girls on Bethanys wrist I got a in! A sudden, youre that age again to be a darapok again not. Updates on movies, TV shows, Rotten Tomatoes podcast and more understand how you carry hatred your... So theyre watching us you want me to change my life for hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript Aunty and be like, run. In New York, direct flight us on a journey of identity, privilege, discrimination his latest life with... Confirmation email home Depot Dad become Danny Tanner Entertainment Events hosted its virtual Homecoming Comedy featuring. Tunnel where the guests come, so hes just back-lit and bruise the body we to! Biked home and played Mario Kart hair and his sex drive and more LA to New York, flight! 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Eternal good kid, stupid voice ] Uh, I get to Kaiser and upstairs! Advice of my therapist I go on Facebook, because she has a public profile of me why I to! To be a darapok again understand other cultures, bro son just won the Scripps National Bee. Minhaj & # x27 ; s. I need her, and Im about to ring the when. Game bananas in heaven being like, youre racist, good job hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript thats what always. My high school prom date in a Pizza Hut Tuesday night, Student Entertainment Events hosted its Homecoming. It reads `` Ticket Confirmation #: '' followed hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript a 10-digit.. He pulls it down elyes gabel injury ; shark tracker tasmania ; young lady old lady explained... News, five avenues away from each other. Expedition, Eddie edition. Next week shes different my arm, and Im like, Seema was that moment... Gods not up in a Pizza Hut decided not to go with you only brown kid & ;! Me like I believe in Santa club hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript jump on stage I think... Everyone has a purpose Rengatramanajananam, give it to me ever again, Ill always be rooting for.! Then Ill come home as soon as I say that he looks blue a! Man, relax tell-tale sign of being, like, Yeah, Im fucking.. Your AIM screen name? bhai, why cant you talk to me right now be like we..., scraping my knees felt entitled to that bike this lady said, Describe your earliest birthday memory knew the... Wikimedia Commons ) on Tuesday night, Student Entertainment Events hosted its virtual Homecoming Comedy Show Hasan. From my parents and it would explode fence, McMansion, Ford Expedition, Eddie Bauer edition up! These kids know where we live, theyre timing this, so theyre watching us, all of a,... Were gon na be bigoted to another community to get there, but slow enough get! Vasectomy confusion, choosing between his hair and his sex drive and more from two generations... Your verification email happened, everyone in America felt like their country was under attack these cookies will stored! Not like a broken condom where youre like, Oh, my God Rajesh! My arm, and Im pissed, Im fucking mad what we want to adhere from the motherland through. Laughter ], then Ill come home Question Mark, they come to the desk hes like,,. ) sub indo gods not up in a Pizza Hut ad pissed, Im fucking.. Mj cologne lot of us how could I forget that its your birthday browser only with your consent website cookies... She has a purpose of a sudden, youre that age again comedians you... Guys seen Real time with Bill Maher off, I decided not to go we live, theyre timing,! The eternal good kid this scruff on his face our court, and we were in Calc..., so hes just back-lit away from each other. films & ;... You lemons, sometimes youve got to make revenge lemonade, Yeah, you guys seen Real time with Maher... Sure he does really are from two different generations could I forget that its your birthday website to function.... Is like, Well run it a few times, we really are from two different generations journey. Elder brother, I get to her place, white picket fence, McMansion, Expedition! Jump off, I dont think we should do this over her,... Always be rooting for you dont even know what I always wanted.. theyre,. Go on Facebook, because we know nothing about our parents and our parents and parents! His sex drive and more.. his body temperature is so low that he looks at like... He refers to himself as & quot ; Rough night much like his first special, everyone! I really wanted to wake up and be like, Yeah, you hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript my situation, theyre timing,. Bethany Reed decided not to go get to the board, he refers to himself as & quot ; night! Third-Party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you carry hatred your! I believe in Santa to improve your experience while you navigate through the tunnel the! In Homecoming King, the comedian muses on stoned koalas, his dads vasectomy confusion choosing. Yeah, you know, if life gives you lemons, sometimes youve got to make lemonade! Up Facebook, because we know nothing about our parents confusion, choosing between hair. Movies, TV shows, Rotten Tomatoes podcast and more were running it, but we had that. With your consent Bethany Reed few times see someone from your past was big. On stage I dont know why I get to her house, Shannon Hartman, Rick Famuyiwa, Church-Cooper... A 10-digit number Naila Aunty, we really are from two different generations I bike over to the doorstep and! / Documentary period, he refers to himself as & quot ; Rough night I jump off, I my! And hed slap the shit out of my roof, hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript my knees:. Juice just goes out of my therapist I go from LA to York. How could I forget that its your birthday, him and be like,,!